Dealing with the inevitable tears in performance reviews

Even the nicest manager who wouldn’t hurt a fly, who rescues kittens from trees and charms babies on the weekends, will make an employee cry at some point in their career. That moment is more likely to come during the employee performance review than at any other time of the year. Knowing that it is likely to happen at some point can help managers prepare for the possibility of tears prior to the session.

Having harsh feedback does not guarantee tears. Some employees will never cry, while others will always cry during an evaluation session because they are extremely stressed. Managers will never be able to prevent tears entirely, but there are things to do to be ready to preserve the dignity of the associate and the productiveness of the session at the same time.

First, put some thought into where the session is going to be held. An area with a little bit of privacy is preferable, especially if the feedback may be hard for the employee to hear. Arranging for the employee to sit with their back to the door will also prevent any lost face as tears will be hidden from passer-by. Keeping a box of tissue at hand will also help managers feel prepared for tears.

Managers should also remain calm and supportive if there are tears. While it is tempting to hug or otherwise comfort a crying staff member, modern litigation makes it unwise to touch staff even if it is innocently meant. Allow employees time to compose themselves, and move on with the session. Acknowledging tears is fine; both parties may be more comfortable once the issue has been acknowledged. If more time is needed later, simply schedule it without passing judgement.

Until next time
Ingrid Cliff

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Heart Harmony -  HR copywriter